One Year Off

And some pretty crazy news

June 18. One year off of all medication.

I can’t believe it. I look back at some of the posts I wrote when I was agonizing through the horrible withdrawal symptoms I had, all from taking medication as prescribed, and I am so grateful to be where I am right now, so grateful I stuck with it, which is due to — I now realize — writing about it and sharing it with my community. That’s right, I mean YOU, you precious bit of sunshine.

The growth I’ve been pushed into, kicking and screaming, has been exponential this year. Wow…deep bow to all of you for staying in my corner.

And things continue to evolve. The most incredible thing happened this week. I’m almost hesitant to share it because it’s a miracle to me, but here goes.

I’ve had three nights out of the last four where I have slept through the night.

Read that again.

No getting up to pee. No startling awake and being stuck there in limbo, lonely, me and my exhausted Kindle. Just 100 percent pure, unadulterated sleep. For about seven hours.

I did a reverse search of how many times I’ve mentioned sleep in this column since I started it last March, and the word “sleep” has appeared 67, 504 times.

I just made that up. But it’s been one of the main themes of “All Tabs Open” — right? My inability to shut the fuck up and shut the fuck down.

Three uninterrupted nights of sweet sweet slumber.

Once would have been an anomaly. Twice would have been, well, insane, since I have LITERALLY never had two nights’ sleep in a row. In my life.

But three? That is an honest-to-God miracle.

And by the way, that night that I didn’t sleep through the night? I got up to pee once and went right back to sleep.

Something has genuinely shifted inside of me. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’m learning.

Eric and I went on a retreat last week, up at Omega Institute, led by four incredible souls, Juan Pablo Barahona, Regan Hillyer, Maryn Azoff, and Patrick Surdam. The five-day workshop, entitled the “Highest Self Magnetism Retreat” was a combination of breath work, movement, music, vocalizations, guided meditations, and transformational manifestations, along with other next-level shit.

It was incredible. And the leaders, like my own dear Ray and Nina Crist of The Jaguar Path, could not have been more kind, generous, fun, and down-to-Earth.

With Regan Hillyer and JuanPa. Grooving on the high-frequency vibes they emanate!

I didn’t even really know what I was getting myself into. Eric has been following “JuanPa” (as he is known) for the last several months on the Mindvalley app, and we discovered they were in the area and went. I didn’t do a lot of research but decided that I would be open to everything and anything. But I had no agenda, not even an intention except to support my husband on his spiritual quest (because you all know I’m usually the one out in front, lightsaber in my hand!) and keep an open mind.

And even though my mind was open, they cracked it open even more.

Also, using my voice and resonating with Maryn and Patrick was an incredible way to get those chakras all spinning in the right direction. I felt empowered! Woo-hoo!

With Maryn Azoff of Vocal Transformation — highly recommended for singers and all those who simply want to stand in their power!

So — a lot of other stuff happened. Some visions I had. Some deep truths I came to understand. Some downloads I got.

This was all without drugs or plant medicine. Just breath and song and sound and dance and really good leaders.

And sleep. Sleep!

I’ll be writing more — I actually am finally excited to write a book about all of this, these experiences I’ve been having for the past six years or so, that are drawing me closer, maybe, to the person I was born to be.

All of you can do this, tap into your highest self. We all have that beautiful soul shining inside of us, sometimes swimming in a sewer-strewn stream, filled with crappy foods, toxic thoughts, negative self image, our poor little soul just trying so hard to keep its head above water.

Clear the passageways. Let your highest self emerge. Be everything you already are.

Big love.

Look at me, singing my little heart out. Who IS that???